my heart out

The night the eyes and the ...

2011-11-05T23:01:00.000-07:00

Do you have an idea how much sadness lies beneath those ghastly eyes
I was always about love, you were always about those tiny fights
Sincerely hope to God that he gives you the rightful insight
Atleast may be you know how to differentiate the wrong from the right
I open my eyes and still see darkness ,I try to muster all my might
Is this a cul de sac , a tunnel that I take hoping to find some light
I still wonder whether I have gone blind or it is just another night
A night which will pass away certainly and my mind sees again the day's light

As I go pensive lost somewhere in the train of my thoughts
May be the train would stop somewhere at a place sans the drought
The drought which has dried up happiness and pain it has brought
I wonder what I am going to do these long years I have got
Again the mind goes numb with pain and makes me suffer a lot
I pray I could go back in time and wish we had never fought
Was it I who did not make a move , was it worth a shot?
This I wonder still trying to seek answers, caught in my web of thoughts

2011-10-18T23:44:00.000-07:00

"The ILEs"

I have been heart broken,I have been missing happiness for quite a while
Suddenly you come in like a gush of fresh air, add that element of smile

Your beauty is a show-stopper, your charisma is free of any guile
You are like the respite which someone gets after closing a long buried file

Even when I am worn out, tired, hurt, you wanna make me walk that extra mile
Holding someone's hands , with her lustruous hair brushing against my shoulders,it has been a while

Oh can't you see how much life you infuse in this soul with your vivacious smile
You seem to be that nurturing force that has let me out of my shell, my exile

When I touch your hands, your tiny fingers stick out ,oh they look so fragile
But in reality these fragile hands have been my real strength all this while

You helped me get out of my last association which was nothing but full of vile
It was mea culpa to trust someone so much, but how could I help it , I was so docile

With her all my efforts , my emotions, my thoughts seem to run futile
With you I feel surrounded by positivity , my imagination turns fertile

Oh happiness seemed to avoid me ,I used to busrt into guffaws of laughter erstwhile
Before you walked in there was utter chaos, I was turning into an imbecile

I was losing my head , making millions of mistakes turning into a senile
You came in rescued me , undid my sorrow ,getting me this better tomorrow,letting me relive my charms- charms which were so boy like, so puerile

This association with you was so divine ,so immaculate,so unforgettable as if each moment was worthwhile
You make pain go away, you ward off my sorrow, you kill my unjoy , as if you are the magic wand and all the pain in the world in just volatile

my heart out: The black Box

2011-09-22T04:09:00.000-07:00

my heart out: The black Box

The black Box

2011-09-22T04:05:00.000-07:00

Pls return back my thoughts,that have captured you and now they are haunting me
You stole my peace, parting us into you and Me when we were meant to be We
Don't you understand these walls between us can't be in our hearts, can't you See
One of us was meant to have a box full of emotions ,the other was supposed to have the key
You let them brew out of the box, expuragating the wildest emotions and gave away the key

The girl in blue

2011-06-09T03:08:00.000-07:00

I watch her from the knook of my eye everyday
yesterday today and the upcoming day

Somehow she resonates the strings of my heart's imaginary harp
Certainly her infectious smile has an effect so sharp

Her aura obliterates you completely takes you off your toes
Remember her sincerity suave drives away your woes

Her persona epitomizes her dignity

She looks no less then a reincarnation of trinity

Is it love is it lust or is it a fatal attraction

The heart is pumping ,effervescent with affection

How am I related to her is an enigma and an unanswered question

Still I feel that there is a kind of connection

The heart has stopped,beat is frozen, life seems to be stuck in that fraction

.............................

2010-04-15T10:41:00.000-07:00

Entangled in the ever-embracing shackles of temptestuous life ;his heart cribs to break-free

Still trying to get rid of the captivating effects of so-called love which it might never achieve

Seems like a distant uncouth possibility which the not known Mr. Nobody is trying to deceive

And then the poorest of his hearts' imagine ;thinking all over again about her charms

Does she remember nothing ;even the evenings they spent together in each other arms

She sold love for a better bargain and the same he bartered for agony and pain

Puzzled like crosswords and confused like riddles is what his heart is;crying in disdain

Wonders his heart that if could actually seek a wish, what would it actually ask

Would it ask for her heart bleeding too which he wants to visualize hidden in a mask

Why is he still desperate to prove to her that he is good and his heart still feeble

When he knows to the fullest of truths that the good has parted and his heart is now evil

Pygmalionized

2007-02-19T01:21:00.000-08:00

In my own foolish world , I created an ideal woman - Dew
Pygmalion had Galatea , and all I have is you

I fell in love with your beauty which this world can't see
You liberate my entrapped passion ,setting my soul free

As Pygmalion begged Aprodhite to breathe life into the statue
Likeways,I beg God to fulfill my wish and grant me just you.

In all these wasteful years,I realised that I am a man of words,not so few
But I am not blessed enough to let them pour out to express them to you

You are my favorite fantasy, your face an ecstasy, your smile a spell
Your talk is so mellifluous , an olio of charms you are for which i fell

My mind counsels me to forget you, to dampen your thought
Heart refuses to let you go, and let your memoirs rot

They have been at daggers drawn over what to do with you
The only point they agree on is that you are one of the few

People ridicule my exaggerated imagination -mocking at the world i created for you n me
All i have is hope against hope,that my sinopure dreams will materialize ,for them to see

The day shall come when you will be mine, when parting-oceans between us will dry
When I will be sitting by your side gazing in your eyes under the star studded sky

Underneath the smiling moon, on the velvet turf,chanting hymns of love

But imaginations do go wrong,love does get defeated,dreams do get shattered
So I dont let words pour out of my mouth, to end up things that mattered

I prefer to pygmalionize my small imagiantive world
where I have you and therefore happiness ,oh sweet one!!

Kitni baatein kahne ko hai

2007-02-08T09:11:00.000-08:00

Kuch baatein rah jaati hai ankahi
Chup rah akr kya mila,kuch kahte to sahi

Bas chup chaap dekh kar muskura dena
door se dekhna aur paas aakar gardan fira lena

chahtee kya ho tum ?, ek baar kah toe deti
Ek baar kam se kam humaara imtihaan toe leti

Hum toe rah gaye itne bad naseeb
Chah kar bhi naa aa paaye tumhaare kareeb

Jisko tum samjhti rahi mera guroor
Woh tha darr "naa sunn ne kaa "ey huzoor

Kuch Na ,behtar hai Naa se maanti hona
Batao!! Naa mil paana accha hai yaa khona?

Itni baatein kahne ko thi par hum bhi chhup rahein tum bhi
shayad kuch aisa ho , mil jaaye kahi aur fir kabhi

Issi aasha mei likh rha hoo yeh ki tum shayad parr paayogi issey kabhi kisi dinn
Tab tak mai karunga tumhaara intezzar,ginunga saal,mahine aur har ek dinn

Unsaid words

2006-11-13T10:31:00.000-08:00

Of my years fifteen plus ten
these 2 won't come again
As i walk and cry in the rain
Hiding tears that start to drain
Repenting my mealncholiness,tears well up in my eye
I try to think hard ,but still can't justify ...

Justify what ,I just think a lotCry for what?
emotions beginning to rot

Can't blame you for raking them up again
As you entrap my thoughts as I walk in the rain

You are too good, too good to inflict any pain
It is just my foolish alter ego that makes me feign

Feign what..a stupid thought arising in my heart's alcove
A self-belief that you can't make me fall in love

But you prove me wrong everytime I go in a pensive mood
I just wonder you being nice,I am just too rude

Please don't think I don't want to reciprocate
the heart just wants to do it,the mind equivocates

I have lost it before, can't afford to lose it now
Why don't you give it a try,heart and mind at row

It is just I am a man of few words who can't just say
I want you to understand ..for me its no child's play
Alas!! my mind and heart yet agin, at fray

I am still waiting for that lucky day
When I just won't look down ,i'll look in your eye

I wil prove to you, I am not rude nor I am shy
Wait for the day when my eye meets you eye
And that day would the last day when I would cry........

Innocence los

2006-11-12T01:41:00.000-08:00

Was it really you or my exaggerated imagination
Was it really you murmering or my increased palpitation

I could see you sitting across the floor on tht parapet
I thought I was drunk dreaming and could not believe it a bit

Then I got a rude shock when I saw you with tht cursed glass in you hand
What are friends for, it was brought to you by a friend

I still could not believe it was you who was gulping down the drink
With your scarcastic smile and the bloddy glass filled upto the brink

As a chain reaction the first thing I did was to give myself a violent shake
To make sure it was nit hallucination ,actually not fake

The night I could not drink another glass,I raised the toast but could actually not drink it ..Alas

I realised how bad ,was this place ,
that made you lose your innocence

I never fell in love with your face
It was just the innocence
Trapped between you temple and chin

I could not drink seeing you drink,
Could not smoke either
it came as a rude shock

I left the party went away
Wondering...Innocnce lost is love lost

God proved me wrong one more time.......

Her Charisma

2006-11-11T03:44:00.000-08:00

the serene face the innocent smile
remember the day we perambulated that fake mile

the day I realised you were that kinda girlwith the wrong kinda guy
Ofcourse not me ,but definitely not him that is true.

Alas !!Those few moments the time just flew

I wish I could turnback time
and muster enough courage to make you mine

I am pretty unsure whether I fell in love with your innocence
Or just again infatuated by your amicable face

I seem to be dumbfounded and don't realise why
i see my unborn children,I moment I look into your eye
The number of times we meet- I still contemplate
Is it my exaggerated imagination or an act of fate

They say you give it a fresh start ,it is never too late
But the only ting I am sure of ,I have always been unlucky in matters of fate.

my heart out: that bloody fraction

2006-10-11T22:38:00.000-07:00

my heart out: that bloody fraction

2006-10-11T14:54:00.002-07:00

that bloody fraction

my heart out: that bloody fraction

2006-10-11T14:54:00.001-07:00

that bloody fraction

my heart out: that bloody fraction

2006-10-11T14:54:00.000-07:00

that bloody fraction

2006-10-11T14:47:00.000-07:00

Don’t give me that piercing frosty-nosed look
It is so cold, vitriolic ,in turn makes me feel like a crook
This is my life and not a business of urs
Don’t exploit it for profits u want to book
Your fathomless appetite for making me miserable
The straight life of mine which u wanna gobbledegook
For heaven’s sake once retrospect
Shake your soul, try to inspect
In your eyes ,does love bear no respect
It is the question of the day infact
It was once I wanted to go away
But did you ever wanted me to stay?
A iota of a glance of urs once made my day
The same thing now forces me to pray
For me its ominous ,forbidden to see
My soulz liberated,my heart is free
Free from the shackles of your fatal attraction
It seems to be nothing more than a distraction
Keep your ploys apart from your soul just for a fraction
Soul-search yourself ,you know the reason for my traction
All I want you is to think for the second’s fraction
You’ll realize, when you now belong to the PARIAH section

Love meets Confusion and Vice-versa

2006-09-29T03:01:00.000-07:00

Perhaps dudee has fallen in love again
My friends tell me this,
All this makes me feel "sweetly insane"

She is pretty for sure
Looks best when draped in AZURE
Magnetiseing me with her allure

If really love her I shud tell her
But If I really don't I shud confess
But tell her perhaps perhaps perhaps (stolen ;))

True that I can't forget my tumultuous past
In such matters of love and matters of heart

I am trying my level-best to recover
A new beginning awaits me,
which I am trying to discover

Hoping against hope tht she won't be bad
Helpless my heart has become,her a growing fad

This might be a foolish infatuation
But gradually tranforming into an obssession

Pls tell me a way out as I wanna run away from this
Thought its true,her heart is such a target,
nobody sane wud like to miss

I try to vacate my mind ,off her nuances
But it won't listen as it is more stubborn than I am
Afterall it is a part of me,
Something which I want to be

I know this will be a fiasco
But it is true,that being hurt and again falling into same thing
Is like rediscovering a lost treasure
whose importance nobody on earth can measure

I wanted to have a loving happy heart
always but it was destined to be a differnt art

The art of GOD,the hand of CUPID
One moment life's colored,the other iits insipid
One time its kind,other times its wicked

Oh god show me a way out of this
Why does the heart crave for something which can't be Its'
She is a THING i don't wanna miss
Still I wanna get out of this...

Because the joys associated with it euphimereal
Something which is a nebula appers to be real
Your eyes are concealed by rose colored glasses
Love has been fooling millions of the masses

As the foolish heart chants euphonies of her loveliness
Hiding beneath them the aftermaths which is nothing but ugliness

This time I dont wanna even try
As I cant muster the courage to cry

Being lovestruck makes you feel good
But when reality bites,u wanna get out of it if you could..

So I want a way outta this
Lose sth which I surely dont wanna miss.

Fun-focussed Bschool song for fin-focussed (taken from CBS with minor changes)

2006-08-24T04:10:00.000-07:00

Every breath u take
Every change of rate

Jobs u don’t create
While we still stagflate
I ll b watching u

Every single day
you take my pay

When growth goes away
Inflation will stay
And I ll watching u

Oh can’t u see
The FM where I should be

How my poor heart aches
At each of ur mistakes

First u move ur lips
And hike a few more bps

When demand then dips
Yield curve flips
I’ll be watching u

Since u came supply lost w/o a trace
I dream at night that I ll punch u in the face

Ur interest policies I can’t embrace
I feel so wronged, long for his place

I keep crying …hell hell … pls

Oh can’t u see
The fed chair be me

How my poor heart aches
When prices escalate

Every move u make
Every oath u take

Hope your models break
And that smile is fake
We ll be watching u
this place is great

Your name should have been DEW not what it is now!!

2006-07-21T13:44:00.000-07:00

Innocence trickles off your face when you look up
When they meet mine,your eyes appear divine

Etched out on your face so well, those pearls of sight
Makes me feel ashamed ,but staring in your eyes is a delight

Its not just that, You look beautiful
But you cast a magical spell on the passers by
You have become an inspiration of each and every guy

They say "When You are in love you already ahve committed adultery with her in your dreams"
But that definition fails in your case as you are simon-pure
Too puerile,too full of childishness,too innocent to lure

Your coiffure is a jewel in the crown
When your hair tease you ,when you frown

I feel like playing with your hair locks
Ah those flirtatious hair ,they sure rock!

When rain drips down your handsome face
I wish I were those drops of water,I grimace
But I can't be that,Oh what a disgrace

Am I wrong if I call you DEW
You are one among the only few

I will sure Change your name Oh angel-face
I can't openly call you DEW,thats a disgrace

When the bright sun peeps out off the cloud-cover
While you get drenched in the slight drizzling shower

And when the lustrous rays fall on the drops oh pretty girl
They appear to me like small,heavenly crafted beads of pearl

The rest of you I can't write about as I have never noticed or seen
The moment i see you,my eyes are fixated upon your facial sheen

You are a slow poison,your innocent beauty is killing me
I wait for Nirvana,death when my soul will be set free

Atleast after that,I can sit among the stars and look at you
You are God's finest creation,the blessed beauty,Oh innocent DEW!1

Why did I create DEW?

2006-07-21T13:38:00.000-07:00

My heart is bleeding once more
Again that terrifying pain's galore

The more I try to forget youThe more you keep coming back to me
More i try to escape,the more my heart is drawn to you

Have I gone insane,why do you I keep on inviting this pain
When I remember your alter ego,I try to remain stoic
But this gives me more pain,my emotions start out to drain

Why is God militating against my heart
Why is this invisible bond still there. From which it is impossible to depart

I have walled up my emotions ,my pain
We dont talk anymore,Alas! those invisible walls between us
But why my heart and mind are at war,why is this fuss?

But how walls can be in my heart and in my mind
Where still you are the only one I can still find

Is it a sheer coincidence of events or God's cruel act
You came here,in this life,which I have trying to enact

There is an apocalypse in the making
Stripping off the life I have been faking

You had better places to go, but still you chose the niche I had created
To hide from your thoughts and ofcourse you, by whom my heart was cheated

I tend to look the other way,to ignore you when we meet
Since the last 3 years all I have been trying ,is to retreat
Still You capitalised upon what you knew very well about
That ,In love,the toughest thing is to accept a defeat

I was simple,my emotions were so virgin-like,my love was so uncanny
But with that one coupe de'tat you have deplumated it,into pieces so many

The pieces so many that i have being trying to gather them since those last 3 years
And then you turn up here,why?To see my heart bleeding ,to witness a tsunami of tears

I wish my heart had several backups,atleast the one you broke could be thrown
So that atleast I could live painlessly and if not happily, but just carry on

But no that would not happen as God's playing on you side
Both of you,smoothly,taking my shattered emotions for a ride.

I tried to abberate,find my solace in that beautiful girl,I crafted and called"DEW"
But alas thts my fate,even finding happiness in dreams is no longer under my purview

I love to hate my life now,to stitch back those minuscule pieces of broken heart
You were the one,who taught me that love is not an emotion but a bloody ART.....

ND's- A word called STOP

2006-07-16T11:39:00.000-07:00

I wake up in the morning feeling drained, that's how i think my ecosystem is now trained ...
Staying up all night seems to be the tradition, i think harder if thats the actual reason ...
I try to remember, what happened last night, before sleeping did I see dawn's light ...
For my memory, it seems a bouncer, i turn to my operating system for an answer ...
I can't reason for this confusion, was it a reality or an illusion ...
the life was moving at jet speed, when I saw you on the other side of street,
the time went still and my mind got numb, in my life i hardly felt so dumb ...
you walked away leaving me alone, me looking at you long after u were gone ...
and i was standing there still as a root, too indifferent to move any of my foot ...
Days passed by, but the memories stayed, i still remember how u talked, how u swayed ...
the story so old and so often heard, still we don't realize the power of one word ...
a word so simple yet so difficult to utter, a word so strong to remove all clutter ...
a word called STOP! could have done the magic, and my story would not have been tragic ...
i stayed quiet and she has gone ... the time has stopped and am all alone ...
the nights are darker, and the days more crazy, the hope is bleak and the future so hazy ...
i thought of you all the time, so engrossed that sleep could not be mine ...
It doesn't look real, and it wasn't a dream, it's actually simpler than it might seem ...
you just remember the magic word ... the word that connects so disparate a world ...
the word that binds all of us ... the word that could make a difference ... a word so rarely uttered ... STOP!!!

Straight from ND's heart..

my heart out: Living in your thoughts

2006-07-16T11:26:00.000-07:00

my heart out: Living in your thoughts

Living in your thoughts

2006-07-16T11:22:00.000-07:00

Dryer than ash
Darker than coal
Night appears as a whole

Don't wanna spend it without your thought
I have tried to keep them off,enuff I have fought.

keep on waiting for ages just forseeing you ...
Wasting away moments of life that seem few..

Sitting near you, in my dreams
With you resting your head in my arms
I keep on losing life,each moment,seeing your charms

Interweaving clouds,stargazing,creating seasons
counting ages ,picking moments without any reason

Some moments were warm some hot
Some were lost ,others were not

Some were long some were short

Living in solitude
missing your love's rectitude

i wish i had changed my attitude
Just said that word "STOP"(borrowed this line from nd)

A cavalcade of those days zooms past me in my mind
Being eveteased by them ,they being one of their kind .

I capture those moments where you are present
More they keep on coming,if I try to resent

So it is all for your love..
Or
All because of your love..

Page3 Dudettes and MBAs

2006-07-16T02:24:00.000-07:00

Page3 dudettes and MBAs

my heart out: Dudettes and MBAs

2006-07-16T02:21:00.000-07:00

Page3 Dudettes and MBAs

Dudettes and MBAs

2006-07-16T01:33:00.000-07:00

They call their group the Page3 gang
Seeing their nuances will make your head bang

Feel to Bang it against the wall
Noticing there clothes are too small

Revelation or concealment ,I keep on pondering
Why are they here,my mind keeps on wondering

The beauties are a sure thing to admire
But a better bet is ,certainly their attire

How come they are called the page 3 chicks
Their vital statistics sure give men the kicks

They have an innate misconception ,that Page 3 is all about flaunting
But the truth is it is about being different,being gregarious and daunting

When these bimbos will get this into their head
Their demeanor is driving the whole place mad.

A treat for the eyes and a feast for the depressed souls
They have become the moot point for a "bunch of azzholes"

Am I writing this just bcoz the so called "Grapes are Sour"
I do agree,their coming here has been a seasonal downpour

The Page 3 can be a bunch of dudettes for our freaky dudes
Xcuse me coz my expression of words seems so rude..

Hell!! all this is driving me crazy
Why my eyes are getting hazy

Hey I realise the Page 3 gang are near
Oh my gosh, I need to hurry my dear!!

Inspite of the long list of male counterparts,their status remains single
So are we!!Call ourselves MBAs-married but availablle and Ready to mingle

my heart out: Goodbye dew!!!. So No tears.

2006-07-14T14:59:00.000-07:00

Goodbye dew!!!. So No to tears.

my heart out: Goodbye dew!!!. So No tears.

2006-07-14T14:31:00.000-07:00

my heart out: Goodbye dew!!!. So No tears.

Goodbye dew!!!. So No tears.

2006-07-14T13:26:00.000-07:00

Today i have taken another tuff decision
and abandon one more unaccomplished mission

To wipe off "dew" off my mind and soul
To roll back yet another substantive goal

It was sine-quo-non,you know why?
I am exhausted and my heart runs dry

Dry just because I have had enough of shock
My blood has become cold,my heart's a rock

Shocks when Life had been unjust and unfair
When I was alone and melancholized in despair

The pain was enormous,heart was in flares
Of heartbreaks ,My life has had ,its own share

Now it refuses to be vulnerable to any such fatal attraction.
It loves to hate and hates to love,so vitriolic is its reaction.

It 's better to let my life remain love-deprived and dry
Then tears welling up in my eyes ,forcing me to cry

My heart refuses to knock down this wall,the wall that protects me from you
The result of hours of contemplation ,of reflection upon the agony ,Oh dew!!

Though that heartbreak was small,but made a deep impact
I was flummoxed ,flabbergasted when i realised the fact

The facts of her so cruel intentions
Everything of hers was a pretension

When i see you you remind me of her
Her girlish charms,her fathom-less eyes

While I was puerile and I was shy
But she had a cocealed disguise'

When she was stripped off,of her camouflage her pretence
That made me lose my cool
And then I realised ,I had been a fool

So history,this time, won't be given a chance to repeat
I dump your thoughts,my feelings take a back seat.

Dew will be dilipidated and my heart will retreat.
As those boyish emotions take the back seat

Hence I conclude by saying it again
I refuse to be hurt and face the pain

i bid adieu to you
Oh dew oh dew!!

Adios dew ,
As my heart says "NO to Tears"

Continuation of DEW...the dewd definition of love

2006-07-13T14:34:00.000-07:00

All over ,People have been repeatedly asking about you oh DEW!!!
The questions they ask are the ones,to which even I don't have a clue

You will remain a mystery I swear ,undiscovered and enshrouded.
My emotions are filled uto the brim,my heart is getting crowded.

Still I bury your secret,your identity deep down under
You came as bolt from the blue,striking my heart as thunder.

You will remain a myth as the day I reveal your identity
My adulation,attraction,appreciation loses its sanctity

You reside in the niche I have created for you in the chamber of my heart
For me you have become an association ,from which it's impossible to part

I day I tell people about you,they'll laugh at me ,they'll mock at you
They will make life difficult for me as well as you..oh dear dew

Something which I refuse to let, happen
You have been a dream,taking 24 years to shapen

I can't kill my dream which is dearer to me than you.
Excuse me for my extreme selfishness oh DEW!!

Still I say and will say this ad infinitum.....
You smiled.. I saw and You conquered!!

Why do you wrap urself in black?

2006-07-13T09:07:00.000-07:00

Hey dew!! why do you dress in black
Thats the color of evil

Ah!! Is it !!A salmagundy of the black evil and the simon-pure dew!!
As you walk!! it seems ur black dress,the evil and you "sanctity" go "hand-in-glove."

That sure makes my mind at daggers-drawn with my heart
My mind counsel me to do the right and forget you outright

And the heart, counsels me to do the wrong and steal your beauty
Tell me what should I do,you are becoming an enigma to me!!

I stand at one end of a blind alley,wherein I see light at the other end
And you what that light is ...thats you oh DEW !!,as you drew me towards you

As you drew me towards you, oh DEW !!,dressed in black

But please don't mind my words as I am a sentimental fool
You are the light- queen,my heart's a black hole,where you surely rule

Dew- Thats what I call HER

2006-07-13T06:18:00.000-07:00

Dedicated to Dew- A DEWD's(dude's) definition of love...
.
(You know why do I call her DEW.zimple..." D.E.W-Desirable woman")

God created the most beautiful things ,not abundant but few
One such scintillating creation is what I call "THE DEW"

Yes ofcourse , dew is her and she is dew
Just like limited editions,things like her are few

Pardon me if I call a thing,that's not a slip of tongue or misrepresentation.
But a mortal endorsing that much , becomes a thing as per my interpretation.

Have you ever noticed dew drops slipping of velvetty leaves in the dawn
Even thats nothing compared to the way she opens up her mouth to yawn

Her smile bears the innocence of a child,she is so tender so mild
Her beauty is untouched,unscathed ,from the barbarian,the wild...

Sometimes , I suspect that she is nothing but a mirage
Something deceiving, or perhaps a farce
But the latent fact is that I dont have the courage to advance

I fear not,but I am sure that my moves will be disregarded
Just because I am zilch and my dreams are Ignus- Fatuus

For me she is the only option,and for her there are unlimited choices
So i sit back in despair and agony, trying not to listen to my inner voices.

But in all my months 12+10, these 10 wont come again
the months she would be in my sight,
when my mind and heart are at fight.

But she sure struck the right strings of my heart,the perfect chord
My mind's losing peace,her sanctity becoming my apple of discord.......................

Anti: Snapshots from hell

2006-03-20T10:26:00.000-08:00

This was the name of a book I read long back, tht comments about life of a mediocre at Harvard B-school.Just like that, it is true that b-school life calls for endurance,hard work,night-outs ...a complete burn-out..stil these are the most wunderful years of smone's life...though Exceptions are always there.there are people who are always cribbing, who make mountains outta mole-hills...for sm ppl things dont seem to take the right course.still they are in a minority and who cares about mediocres anyways.. :(...Most of the people ,on being asked say" those were the best days of my life"!! and for some ppl life at B-school "nothing but snapshots from hell" they narrate each incident with imbibed pessimism..Not to blame them as ----"when a thing is expected to go wrong it will and at the wrong time"-murphy's law...applicable to few ppl...

FOr them life seems mundane, just like a wild - goose- chase...MBA does not add-value to their lives...for reasons unknown, for fault that is not theirs..but most of them, most of the parts work out well and each piece when fitted together form a beautiful snapshot that is not from hell.this might seem to the other lot as looking at the world as if wearing rose-colored glasses!!but for some ppl,infact most of th successful ones....B-school is a turnaround in their lives...they r on the threshold of a beautiful career ahead...for smone it is ofcourse the other way round....let us identify sm of these ppl....these are ppl like XX, who have been doing exceptionally well thruout their lives...never tasted failure...abd whn they start facing it here, they are heart-broken..frustration seems to build up.....affecting future performance....pulling them down each wring of the ladder....going down!!! these ppl are not cowards, just tht they have no inspiration to muster their srength to meet the impending challenges of the tuff b-school life....no body seems to understand them....since they cant get along well with their lives..they are termed LOSERS!! born losers....and mind it they are the ppl, who were at times the best performers in their groups....but wht happens whn things go wrong..they become losers, jerks..oh!! what fate!!
for smone getting thru b-school becomes fait accompli for the rest it is just another 2 years..but if u dont pass out of a b-school being a better person, a better orator, a better communicator...ur education is waste!!!a wate of time n money!!!

pessimist monologues

2006-03-14T06:22:00.000-08:00

Dreams I cud never realise
Plans I cud never materialise

Ambitions I cud never fulfill
Mocking Birds I cud never kill

Love I cud never reciprocate
Feelings I cud never communicate

Hands I never held,Paths I never walked upon
Buried emotions ,i never talked about.

Success I cud never taste
Facts I cud never state

Happiness i cud never feel
Loving hearts I cud never steal

Terms i cud never dictate
Is it the way I think or is it fate??

Life seems to be stuck at a steady state
Growth seems to take a backseat

Happiness seems to retreat
Efforts seem to accept defeat.....

Is it destiny's yet another painful feat.
Seems as if optimism has taken the last seat

Pseudo-Dudo : pro-dudes

2006-03-12T11:03:00.000-08:00

Well well,this is with reference to my previous article: dudizm vs Normalizm,which i m afraid invited much wrath nd genrted much backlash, with people adulating me (;) )with comments like-I can never be a dude , I am a pessimist..etc...though some were followed by adulations as well.To make my stnd very clear, the entire purpose of that was defeated.. it was not to arouse fury or pin-point smone.I ahve nthnd agnst the Dudes...it is just I was insinuating towrds some pseudo-dudes, who just try to imitate the dudes and end up being jerks...
I personlly adulate some people which I really consider dudes, real stuff.....not the ones affected by the pseudo-dudo syndrome..as i mentioned earlier..Being a dude is not having a weird coiffure,painting ur hair pink and yellow..its abt the way u take things...... Being a strong optimist, being one of them..... DUDEs are dashing,unruly,dare to bare attitu---d--e ..... they are not jerks !! they outperform when and only it is reqd and possess the chillest of attitude...no doubt they get the best!! just some dudes say" livin la vida loca--live life dangerously......So people..who really crtiqued me on my article...pls get ur fundae right.....dud-izm is all abt doing the right things the right time and nt being rudis...or....barbarians.....hail the dudes!!

Falling in love with you again and again........

2006-03-11T11:52:00.000-08:00

why do I love you,the question I ask myself many a time..
Is that because of your drop-dead looks
or Is it the way you mime...........

Is that the way you clear off your hair off your face
With wind blowing them off,giving them a chase

The enigma seems to get deeper the more I give it a thought
My heart refuses to believe ,even my mind and heart have fought!!

Fought over you,over the whims and fancies of your beauty
Oh angel-face what spell do you castthat has overpowered my heart that fast!!

your splendid personality,your aura swept me by my feet
Such is my condition that I cant even think to retreat

Seperation from you causes despair, inflicts pain
Is it not true tht I am falling in love..........
..................with you again and again...

2006-03-10T13:16:00.000-08:00

marks maketh an MBA

2006-03-10T06:16:00.000-08:00

what makes an MBA- "Mediocre but arrogant"--An abbreviation which I have picked up from somewhere,still holds true in my case-atleast the first part.Now what makes an MBA.Is it marks,is it personality,is it the ur eloquence,Is it your inter-personnel skills?Well my first year has taught me atleast what makes an MBA to some extent. It is your presentablity, your persona that makes you an MBA.The ability to stand apart,think out of the box that makes you an MBA.there is a mantra that makes u a successful MBA--ur risk taking ability,ur acumen

ability vs attitude

2006-03-09T21:19:00.000-08:00

Why am I such a pessimist?.A question which is an enigma to me.something which I have been pondering over all these years to get an answer to.Is it a spate of failures.?Is it fate?

Finally,I have realised that there is nothing called fate.You make or break your own destiny.No body is destined to lose.It is such lack of ability,lack of dedication and when finally I realised my incapability,It has been too late.Perhaps,I miised the bus.Riding on a lame excuse of "being unfortunate"..made a coward out of me.The plain simple truth is...I dont want to come to terms with reality....obviously,the truth is too bitter..too unacceptable,still it is the truth...no one can change it..A simple equation which one of my friends suggested me.

Ability*1/frustration*blah blah=outcome..u fail u blame ur luck..u ignore ur ability ur capability.It is high time I accept tht I lack the attitude,the perseverance needed to succeed..

andher nagri chaupat raja school of mgmt

2006-03-07T12:06:00.000-08:00

with all those hopes ,all those ambitions"I'll make it big". I will graduate to be a part of the upper strata of biz world most softies-- burn midnite oil and finally make it to the b-schools of India classified as A B C categories. Those who get the A-class"the big IIs are lucky enuff but the ones making it to the B-graders..the other so called hep b-schools of India dont realise tht they r giving up high paying systems jobs to join the same company 2 yrs later.thtz a very bitter truth though many of us get to know it only aftr 1 yr of joining b-schools.

what u lose ?? a big ques to answer...u lose hair....lots of it..stress doubles.. :).there are lot of opportunity costs...u lose onsite opportunities in ur previous co.s ..u lose ur GFs ;) ....who r unwilling to wait for u...onsite money..big bucks....but U hav a diploma added to ur name....

Is it worth it..looking into the financial perspective of it..Lets consider MBA from a b-grader as a project and lets look into the NPV of this project.

considering a softie with 2 years of work ex (average salary lets say= 20 k p.m.)

the cash flow in the first yr CF0 =-1.5 lakh(say the first installment of fee) +(-50 k ,service bond agreement penalty)+(-4 lakh onsite bucks)+(-2.4--onsite salary u lost)

goes on as an annuity

CF1=-2.5 (say the other half of ur fee)+ (-3 lakh -the offshore salary u lost) etc..

now ur cash inflow comes only at end of 1 yr(if u get a decent summer trng placement)

CF1'= + 40 k (lets say 20 k p.m for 2 mnths)

and then starts the actual calculations

profiles of a frustrated mind- my stint with a indian software gaint

2006-03-03T21:46:00.000-08:00

Statutory Warning

This piece of writing is not at all for people who are jingoistic towards the organization, nor for people who are more than necessary optimistic .It is exclusively dedicated to all those poor associates, asses/workers/masons rather., who have been facing the brunt, have been exploited as a ritual, and have nothing more than frustration, rage and vengeance in their minds.
I, would, on their behalf treat them all equal and a victim of a serious physiological epidemic –the BMF disorder. For those who are new to this term, it stands for Bulk and Mass Frustration. Well, in the welfare of all such people , I had made up my mind long ago to write something, containing all the anger, miseries, grievances, something that clearly reflected our minds, thoughts., vagaries etc.But the real impetus to write was provided by my Great Guru “GGP ** ”.,who is whole-solely
responsible, for the few moments of happiness that I have been able to steal from destiny.
(no pun intended).

This piece of writing is thus dedicated to all my poor associates, whom I will be addressing as GUFAS- grossly underpaid and frustrated associates. and obviously to my guru ghantaal “ GGP ” **

** No names are being revealed because of security reasons

Well , Lets play a game. You just have to guess something based on the clues.The first one right there:

Highest percentage of dissatisfied employees. Got it ? No. so have another one.

Pay-checks reflect penury. Not yet….Highest attrition rates. Not still, last one…..employees never ever given any sort of benefits. i.e No gifts, No incentives, No bonuses. They all are hypothetical terms, bloody management lingo that is never ever put to practice ..… Now you all should get it… Right.. No names please!!!

Ok , lets plunge a little deeper into the details. Lets talk about the resources and infrastructures

But , first please remember this golden rule, which keeps the company running.

Company Profits (CP)
Blood left in associates(BL)
Employee grievances(EG)

So putting these terms to the HR and getting the manipulated result as:

CP =k EG/BL where k is a constant of proportionality called the Employee Dissatisfaction index, value varies from 0 – 100

So the final golden law (as HR says) that holds good for the company is

CP= 100 EG/BL

No wonder it is still widely accepted.

Before putting an end to this page , I would offer sincere thanks to the great guru ghantaal,referring him as GGP .ji because all this mathematics used is strongly influenced by him as he is a master at this art.

Let’s talk about LEAVES at Mithya !!

Talk about casual leave and the Management at Mithya try every possible measure to discourage the associates from applying for leaves. Applying for leaves is an automated process. Once you apply for a leave a mail is sent to the upper GUFA who has every possible right to exploit you(no pun intended, just your group/module leader.
He makes it a point not to readily approve it and sees the mail or pretends to see the mail on the last day, 5 minutes before you are planning to leave for home. Finally, he makes you change your plans, ruining your plans.yeah,that’s all. Even the leaves /plans you make to travel home are skillfully manipulated to make them Business Travels(onsite!!),that too when you don’t get to claim your expenses. Great!! Is it not?

Well talking about laptops at Mithya is such a topic that I can write pages and pages about it. One more true incident. This is about a project which Mithya got from the US. No wonder!! Truly ONSITE.

Many of the GUFAS. Went to the client side carrying the dreaded black boxes- yeah laptops. I got to overhear a part of their conversation.

G-1: Hey!! I am going onsite for implementation at the client side.
G-2: Great news buddy. What is the onsite compensation?
G-1: Few thousand cents yaar ;)
G-2 : seems a liberalization of the HR policies.
G-1: Yeah! But I know it is going to be a nightmare yaar.
G-2 : What?? Why?? (bewildered expression)
G-1: They are giving me a laptop this time L.A nightmare come true.
G-2: Oh No!! All hells broke loose. May GOD be with you dear.

G-1: Well buddy. Why fear when we are walking on a bed of burning coal ;)

The story when our dear G-1 has reached onsite……………..

It is the first day,the most important one.He is preparing himself for the kick-off meeting. Very fine!!So just in order to revise the key-points of his presentation he takes out his big black box(laptop).But to his utmost shock, he discovers,there are no power plugs(the fat ones used in India)—Indian ishtyle ones.,rather they are the ones which are completely incompatible with the old beast(thin ones!! Used in US)the Black Box is also helpless because it is not supposed to run on battery.(against company-laptop policies)
But its meeting time .So all the associates at the client side rush to the conference room with their sleek trendy laptops and our poor GUFA has to carry a big pile of papers(the printouts of his presentation)
The client seems to take pity on our poor GUFA and gifts him a laptop till the time he is there.
What else left to say?

2006-03-03T09:29:00.000-08:00

My passion

She would never give up her never
And i became all the more consolidated in my nevertheless.

As all my emotions and feelings sprouted out
in inexhaustible amounts of passion and love for her

As altogether her puerile youth blossoms out like a flower
As unchallenged ,unexplored and vivacious as the eiffel tower

Her mind's perplexed..Her heart bears a bewildered expression
whenever she notices my love,discovers my uncanny passion

To me she seems to be a gene pool of adventure
Reading her thoughts is, dire staits to venture

I have discovered the ecstasies as well as the agony of devotion
To expect the same from her is just like bearing a false notion

I wish I was blessed,and possessed some magical divine potion
So that I could coax her into bearing the same magical emotion.

Still my mind is dichotomized ,one half counselling me to pursue
the other counselling me to forget all the hot emotions I brew

She has become an idee-fixe ,her thoughts a tingling sensation.
Impossible to take her off mind,as she's an accruing obsession.

Her memories are a lifeline , she's my life
Its her thoughts only on which I thrive.

Still the complexities of my brain cajole me to go on hunting for her
Though I know that it has left me exhausted, enervated altogether

But reinvograted with fresh bursts of energy, I am ,thinking about her
My unmanageable passion can make even the stubborn-most stir.

This is all what she is to me and my blind love is to her.............

2006-03-03T09:28:00.001-08:00

what my woman is to me

the scent of first rain
looks that drive u insane

the first note of the fifth symphony
as mellifluous as sweet-smelling honey

the last bus home
immaculte white as soapy-foam

the violet in the rainbow
as pure as freshly fallen snow
Smooth as a river's flow.........

the first ray of morning light
the one which makes my entire day bright

the gene pool of adventure
the dire straits to venture

the first seasonal downpour
the endless zones to explore

the aroma of morning earth
the intensity of fiery hearth

2006-03-03T09:28:00.000-08:00

Untitled..

if the moon were my heart ,
u will be its light
associations which none can part
even if they used all their might

how can they be seperated ,
how can their luv be exasperated

do come back to me ,
though i now let u free
that's the only request..
made to u by me

Anyways u ll come across a lot of people,
in a path full of ambition
But discovering true love among them,
will be an impossible mission

I live my life to keep u coming back to me..
Still u can come back the moment u think u are free.

Becoz thats something u won't ever understand
Even though u do, i know u' ll still pretend

Becoz life's a stage,we all mere actors
and you love to act
the day u want me back,i wont be there for you,
that's a gospel fact...........

2006-03-03T09:26:00.000-08:00

"tempest of emotions"

Water Water everywhere still not a drop to drink...................
Full of beauty is this world, about u still i think
My emotions are upto the brink.

Though i m morbid jejune n out of form
Believe me its a lull before the storm

There is a premonition of a tempest out-break
An apocalypse that will make even the stubborn-most shake.
There are hell lot of old buried emotions to rake
And lot of revelations n confessions to make
I have a lot of fait accompli to uptake......
N Prevent all the beautiful hearts to break.

As the intensity grows by leaps and bound
The tempest will be soon around...
N the waves will sweep u through
This thing sure is gonna accrue
As a free bird my love once flew
Though my feelings were very true
But returns out of it were few
Zilch was what i got in lieu
Hot emotions still i brew..
An impending tempest is what i view
Though this i wrote is impromptu
Understanding its meaning is upto u.

..
The harder I try.... the stronger my luv grew
u r still among the special few...........
Still u say u got no clue........................
- BY
[Ashwini_Aggarwal]

2006-03-03T09:25:00.001-08:00

nature n her

How can she be represented by nature
the clouds make her caricature

Rainbow is her flowing attire
Always being eve-teased by air

Stars keeping awake all night.....
Can't get her out of sight

Greeted by sunshine in the noon
Admired in the night by the moon

Caressed gently by the wind here and there
That whispers sweet verses into her ear.....

An epitome of chastity like mother nature
Is her each and every immaculate feature

An olio of charms, she sure makes u feel
Her flawless beauty is a sure thing to steal

Feels as if she's an angel residing in the stars
Impossible it may seem but we ll reach that far

And when her as a person people get to know,
they are sure that her beauty is not just a show.

2006-03-03T09:25:00.000-08:00

"lost moments"

There embedded in my heart so bright
Are hopes which seem so high
Hopes imploring me to accrue.
Hopes escalating me to reach u.
Becoz ur my joie-de -vivre ,
The only sea i wanna sail thru

Let it be that i 'm just a dreamer
Who believes that there r no walls between us
How can they be in my soul n in my mind
Where u r the only thing i can find

Though i live my life the way to stop u coming back to me
But still i am haunted by the sweet memoirs when i m free
Thoughts when we both had moments of sweet time
The moments when i realized u should have been mine

But they were so ephemeral to quote ,
Just a short sweet stint
Just like smell of currency notes ,
Freshly minted out in a mint..

They were the moments so vivid
Which unfortunately have turned insipid
Life has turned jejune n seems to lack its lustre
To part u from me,enuff courage i need to muster

There were times when ur my sine-quo-non
Times when u inspired me to keep moving on
But now i dont wanna know u further
I wish u were mutated into someone other
Someone puerile so innocuous n bit of childish
The person i m n the person who's my ultimate wish

How could i make such a wrong decision
Why such a perfectionist like me lack precision
How could i be so wrong at judging
Left melancholy ,though never grudging

Paradox lies there that though i dont like whit of u anymore
Still why i want u to change n things to become sweet as before
Impossible it may seem but i want to turn back time
Though for my good i shud'nt but i want to make things fine

Here lies the irony........
True but seems funny..........
Though i liked u from a distance
when u were far
But now i dont even wanna know u
when how close we are

So rightly goes the cliche: "time n tide wait for none"
Moments past are lost n no one can recover the fun.............

So live life as it comes.....................
Dont wait for better moments to come
Make ur present moments the best ones............
-

------------ BY Ashwini.

2006-03-03T09:24:00.000-08:00

this one is dedicated to all the girls with beautiful eyes.......................................

"eyes"

Here we are distances apart, moving farther
And we still go on searching for each other
Know that hatred is wrong and love is life
Just the Right thing for all of us to survive

So when I look into your Hazel eyes
I know the reason why I am alive
And the world is so beautiful tonight
When I look into your Hazel eyes

I even loved you from a distance
Thought I couldn't reach that far
I can't believe how close that we are
When I look into your hazel eyes
And the world is so beautiful tonight

There are people who tried to create a wall between us
People who could not be deciphered ,culpable for the fuss
But every dark cloud has a silver lining
One day even my stars will be shining

Sometimes i wish i could turn back time
Impossible it may seem but i ll make it fine
And the world will be most beautiful that night
When i look deep into ur fathomless hazel eyes
--------------------------------------
by Ash.................................

2006-03-03T09:23:00.002-08:00

inner beauty

Beauty of the inner self is something u most achieve,
it is something which is sacrosanct something indelible
External beauty is so ephimereal so short-lived to believe

inner beuty is so simon-pure
guaranteed that it lasts for sure

being good-looking is something nice
but taking pride in it is commiting a vice

Nobody can predict the vicissitudes of life..............
Hubris in beauty is a faux-pas
a thing all must try to surpass

Something which lasts for ever is a beautiful heart not body
Too much of beauty with a bad heart often becomes gaudy

Craving 4 too much for beauty is an ugly addiction
But being blessed with a good heart is a benediction

A good heart stays there ad infitum
a good face doesn't..........

Chasing a thing of beauty.is following ignis fatuus
a thing which eventually leads to nothing but fuss

A good heart becomes youger with age
breaking all the shackles of the worldly cage
Mind this become a philanthropist ,a sage....................................

by Ash...........................

2006-03-03T09:23:00.001-08:00

"DECEIT"

How deceit can be defined in turn...............
Something, which blind love, can give u in return...........

Life with blind faith n fetishes is a blind alley
Often deceit comes from someone u r pally

Breaking the dreams after escalating someone's hopes
Is just like cutting the string when someone's walking a tight-rope

Breaching faith and setting ablaze somebody's desires
Misleading them letting them burn alone in the fire

Leaving them in a nebula , and alone to feel
Is like hurting them in the Achilles’' heel

Forget those people who break someone's heart
In breaking theirs someothers may play a part

Leaving them flabbergasted ripping their emotions apart
Paying them for their wrong-doings just like tit-for-tat

Vindictiveness is the final outcome of deceit
As the age-old cliche says what u sow so shall u reap

So better not breach someone’s trust
Better be sure that u make -it-up first

--------------------BY ASH--------------------

2006-03-03T09:23:00.000-08:00

taste of success

a life full of nadirs is a life to be despised
a life full of crusts is a life to be ostracised

believe in achieving the summits
no rollbacks only commits

sky should not be the limit it should be the beginning
aim at vanquishing ur failures n always winning

becoz the magic of thinking big always rules the roost
as all those people who dream the most do the most

envisage goals and do ur utmost achieving them
life is a wick and success is the ignited flame..
for all ur failures only u shud be the one to blame

as success is counted the sweetest...taste it.n fly high
soaring like a free strong bird ,a maverick up in the sky

success brings elation, aplomb n kills despair
aromatic n rejuvenating is inhaling its air

in this world of "catch as and catch can"
u need the killer attitude my dear man................

so aim for the pinnacle n u'll get the sky
if not highest u ‘ll atleast fly up and high

though life is chequered , full of crests n troughs
in the cut-throat competition one needs to be rough

because survival of the fittest is one of the modern-day adages
though sounds a little rough but still has been proven through ages

but an adumbration i'll like to state..never let success sit on ur head
there's always a cul-de-sac n chutzpah of success can even drive u mad.

suceeding in life is wearing rose-colored glasses
it has been the only aim of all the masses

so think big... succeed n enjoy.......

2006-03-03T09:22:00.001-08:00

this is entitled "SHE"

Fire Fire Burnin' High
In a World not quite right

Her face was immaculate bright
Casting its spell on the passers-by

A salmagudy of charms she used to be
As puerile as u can think a girl to be

Was it mea culpa that I wanted her to be my side
and took all her peccadillos in my stride

I now we burn in this Ignis Fatuus
What i feel that i m left with nthin' to lose

As sine quo non i treated her.
Only to be offered tears in return.

Still i grant her complete absolution
Thatz the way to nirvana, the solution

Now of my onescore years and ten
22 will not come again
and take from 35 springs ,a score plus two
it will leave me 15 more to go.........................
-
By
Ash

2006-03-03T09:22:00.000-08:00

its called " WHY?"

she used to be my raison-detre...
now she's the bete-noire

our relation was of harmony
from where did creep such acrimony?

she was my dusk n dawn
but now we are at daggers-drawn...........

who's the apple of discord...........
the one who committed the fraud..........

the one who crushed all my desires
the devil behind the hatred fire...........

why on earth did this happen to me
And uproot my own dream tree.........

this killed all my desires..
here i m in agony n despair....................

2006-03-03T09:21:00.000-08:00

"BEAUTY"

Ur lustrous hair is like a flowing brook
Hard to wonder the years even god took

Below ur coiffure is a shining fore-head.
Ur looks are mind-blowing n drop-dead

Ur nose is etched out on ur face so well
hard to believe n even harder to tell

Where perhaps all ur divine beauty lies
Is the cynosure of ur scintillating eyes

Ur swelling red lips have their own story to tell
enthralling the on-lookers with their devilish spell

Ur divine looks are thus simon-pure.........
Mystique of ur smile adds to it more..........

---BY ASH